一见钟情，真的只是见色起意吗???

A new committee was to begin sitting tomorrow-Synthetic Foodstuff for the Third World. This was to be an altogether more modest affair than the big thing in Turkey, but the delegates were arriving by every boat from the continent. And behold, by eleven in the morning, all the secretaries and P.R. girls were arranged around the room, by themselves, or in couples, not looking at the doors through which would come their partners in sex or friendship for the next month or so.

“明天又有一个新的会议要召开——关于第三世界国家的合成食品供应问题。这是个中等规模的会议，不像土耳其的是大型会议，不过代表们得从欧洲大陆坐船过来。请注意，到早上十一点，秘书和礼仪小姐或单独前来，或两两结伴，全部各就各位，眼睛不看门口，虽然穿门而入的可能就有她们下个月的性伴或朋友。

The delegates, of all sizes, colours, shapes, and degrees of good looking, arrived-mostly by themselves. The two teams (it was hard not to see them in sporting teams-on your marks, get set, go!) eyed each other. A skilled process this; age, degree of physical fitness, dress sense, probable sexual capacity, all judged in a few glances. Then began the process of intermingling.

这些身量不同、肤色各异、体态不等的代表各有千秋，个个英姿焕发莅临会场——大多数独自前来。两队人马（用运动队的话——面对目标，预备冲！）相互对视。一个高手只稍瞅上几眼，便能判断出对方的年龄、身体状况、穿衣品位，甚至做爱能力，接着就开始打入阵营。”

Meanwhile, though her thermostat was set low, she parried offers. The frequency with which some man, black, brown, olive-skinned, or pink, offered himself with:"Is this seat free?" made her switch a sight on herself from across the room, as these men were seeing her. She saw, as she had in many mirrors, a woman with startling dark-red hair, a very white skin, and the sympathetic eyes of a loving spaniel. (Dislike of her need to love and give made her call herself dog, slave; she was aware that this was a new thing for her, or she thought it was.)

“此时，尽管她的调温器调至“低档”，但还是需要想办法拒绝请求。老是有男子，黑皮肤的、棕皮肤的、橄榄色或白皮肤的，来到她面前问：“这儿有人坐吗？”她只好把打量屋子的目光收回到自己身上，因为有人正瞅着她呢。她看见一个女子，正如她在众多镜子中看见的一样，一头炫目的深红色头发，皮肤白皙，善解人意的眼睛与可爱的哈巴狗的一样。（她讨厌自己对爱和给予的需要，故称自己为小狗或奴隶：她发觉这是新出现的状况，或者她以为是。）”

Yet this woman, to whom so many men made their way, was twenty years older than some of the girls. This meant that she did not at first sight (across a room and so much coming and going of people in between) look her forty-odd years. She was in that state of eternal youth, to which a large part of the time and effort of womanhood is directed (or rather, as she was thinking more and more often, was becoming obsessed by, the womanhood of the well-off nations of the world, who did not look old at thirty).

“可是这个女子，这么多男子想套近乎的女子，比这里有的姑娘大上二十岁。这说明初看一眼（从房间另一头隔着众多走来走去的人）她不像四十出头的女人。她的模样多年以来青春如故。为此她花了大量时间，调用了女人的各种手段，方达到这种成效。（或者更准确地说——因为她越来越经常“想到，一直耿耿于怀——世界上富裕国家的女子到了三十岁也不显老。）

If she observed carefully, unblinded by personal vanity or prejudice, it was noticeable that this approaching man, whatever age he was, hesitated almost imperceptibly as she saw she was not (which she must look from a distance) a fresh thirty. But, having hesitated, having given her that skilled, professional inspection (like a tart's, or a photographer's) with which we sum each other up in such encounters of the sexual and professional mart, he always sat down and seemed pleased enough with what he found: which was an amiable companion for the coffee table. So it seemed that after all her internal thermostat was obeying her orders.

如果她仔细观察，抛开个人的虚荣心和偏见，是能发现这个朝她走近的男子，且不论他年龄几何，看出（他肯定是从远处看）她不是三十来岁的光鲜少妇，微微犹豫了一下，虽然几不可见。不过，等到他老到专业地审视完毕之后（像妓女或摄影师），就像我们在性交易场所或人才交流中心那样，彼此把对方从头到脚细瞧一遍，通常这个男子会坐下来，似乎很高兴自己的发现：找到了一个咖啡桌边的良伴。这样看来，她体内的调温器好像还是乖巧的。”

But she was not here for this sort of pleasure-though it was certainly pleasurable. She wanted to sit quietly, to relax, to think... She must fo more than to regulate the flame so that men, having joined her, found her companionable. But what? Surely she did not have to leave off make-up, and wear old woman's clothes, and make herself ugly?

“可是，她到这儿并不是为了这种快乐——当然这样的邂逅是愉悦的。她到这儿是想静静地坐一会儿，放松一下，想些事情……看来除了调节内火，她必须采取更多行动，让身边同座的男子觉得，只是与她同桌罢了。可是怎么做呢？千万别指望她洗尽铅华素面朝天，穿着老太太的衣服，把自己弄得不堪入目。

(Kate was in one version of that female dilemma exemplified at its most extreme by the young girl who has shortened her skirt to top-thigh level, left all but two buttons of her blouse undone, and spent two hours making herself up:"That digusting man, he keeps staring at me, who does he think he is?" Or the fashionable woman who has plunged her decolletage down to her waist and left her back bare: she gives the man who examines her delights a cold stare. "You are a boor," her eyelashes state.)

（凯特是矛盾女性的翻版，其中最为典型的当属这两种类型：一是年轻姑娘，穿着过膝长裙，衣裳的纽扣只扣两个，花两个小时梳妆打扮，说：“那个恶心的男人，老盯着我看，他以为他是谁呀？”还有一种是时髦妇人，穿着露背装，背部从肩到腰一览无余，看到哪个男人目不转睛地看着她的得意部位，就冷冷地盯他一眼：“你这个乡巴佬。”说这话的时候眼睛一眨不眨。）

Well of course it was ridiculous to expect her, Kate, to turn herself into an old woman just because... Soon she discovered that if she wanted to be alone, she should sit badly, in a huddled or discouraged posture, and allow her legs to angle themselves unbecomingly. If she did this men did not see her. She could swear they did not. Sitting neatly, alertly, with her legs sleekly disposed, she made a signal. Sagging and slumped, it was only when all the seats in the coffee room were taken that someone came to sit near her. At which time it was enough to let her face droop to gain her privacy again, and very soon.

“怎么说呢，这也太可笑了，指望她，凯特，将自己弄成一个老太太，就因为……很快她就发现，要想独享空间，只要坐姿难看，弓腰缩背，或摆出一副拒人于千里之外的架势，双脚不雅地跷着，就能遂她心愿。她若这么做，男人们肯定目中无她。她敢发誓保证此言不虚。如果她坐得端端正正，衣裙收拾得整整齐齐，露着光滑的双腿，那是在发送信号。相反，要是她无精打采地缩着身体，那么只有等到位置全被占满，才会有人坐到她身边。那时她只要拉着张脸，肯定又可以享受清静了，非常之快。”

It was really extraordinary! There she sat, Kate Brown, just as she had always been, her self, her mind, her awareness, watching the world from behind a facade only very slightly different from the one she had maintained since she was sixteen. It was a matter only of a bad posture, breasts allowed to droop, and a look of "Yes, if you have to..." and people did not see her. It gave her a dislocated feeling, as if something had slipped out of alignment.

“真的难以置信！她，凯特·布朗，和平时一样坐在那儿，她的自我，她的思想，以及她的意识躲在躯壳之下，观察这个世界，她的这副躯壳打从十六岁以来，几乎没有变化。只要坐姿丑陋，耷拉着胸脯，摆出“行是行，要是你硬要……”这么一副样子，屋里的人就可以对她视而不见。这使她感觉很不对劲，似乎身上哪儿少了一个零件。

For she was conscious, very conscious, as alert to it as if this was the most important fact of her life, that the person who sat there watching, shunned or ignored by men who otherwise would have been attracted to her, was not in the slightest degree different from the person who could bring them all on again towards her by adjusting the pictureof herself-lips, a set of facial muscles, eye movements, angle of back and shoulders. This is what it must feel to be an actor, an actress-how very taxing that must be, a sense of self kept burning behind so many different phantasms.

因为她清楚，非常之清楚，那个坐在那里东张西望、被原本受其吸引的男人们排斥和忽略的女子，与这个只需将个人形象稍事调整，比如调整一下嘴唇、脸部肌肉、眼睛的转动，以及肩背的角度，便可把他们悉数招回身边的女子，没有分毫差别。对这方面她一直非常敏感，仿佛那是生活中至关重要的事情。演员肯定会有这样的体会——他们真辛苦呀，让自我意识藏在如此众多不同的幽灵背后焚烧。”

摘录来自多丽丝·莱辛天黑前的夏天

作者在刻画凯特想要独处时，却遇到想搭讪的男士时的心理真是太细腻了。这让我狠狠共情住了，穿着稍微清凉时，难免会引起某些男人的奇怪目光，最可恶的是我的第一反应是难为情，会好好思考下自己到底哪个细节出问题了，引得人如此侧目。对方看一眼就算了，如果还继续看着我，我会装出不好惹的表情，示意对方不要再看了。看到凯特遇到这种情况的处理，我学习到了她的方法。原来只需要变换成坐姿不优雅，精神颓废，就可以让人打退堂鼓。

她在最后一段的对比刻画中，一个举动就能改变一件事的走向，而这个举动的发出者还是同一个人，她既可以是富有魅力的，也可以是毫无魅力的。但她也对自己这种处理方式很不自在，其实她大可以做自己，那就安安静静坐着，有人搭讪拒绝就好了，但也怕自己母爱泛滥，还不如一开始就将萌芽扼杀于摇篮之中。

当作者在描绘搭讪男人的细节时也是十分生动的，那个男人远远观察到凯特不是很年轻，但看到她的美貌，优雅气质，得体打扮，这些可以弥补年龄的缺陷时，他还是走过来坐旁边，想要进一步的搭讪。她还说这个过程就像我们在性交易场所或人才交流中心那样，彼此把对方从头到脚细瞧一遍，不过这几段话不是描绘凯特的婚外情，只不过是工作中可能出现的露水情缘罢了。也让我感受到了在这个全球机构里，个个都是高手过招的感觉，只需一眼，就能大致了解对方的情况了。

其实不只是国外开放，国内现在这种也不少见。林子大了什么都有，我毕业后才知道这社会远不是我想的那么简单，我不喜欢这种被物欲支配的感觉，我还是喜欢窝在自己的世界里，看着喜欢的书，勤勤恳恳赚着三瓜俩枣，我这小脑袋瓜玩不转那些。也许以后这个社会对这些事更置若罔闻了，但我还是喜欢传统的爱情观，一辈子只用心爱一个人，俩人都只忠于彼此，一起为小家奋斗。

这让我想到杨绛说过的一句话，一见钟情，不过是见色起意，日久生情，不过是权衡利弊。爱情这东西，始于颜值，陷于才华，忠于肉体，迷于声音。最后折于物质，败于现实。的确，我和我的爱人一见钟情，是因为我们当时有着不错的皮囊，相处中发现彼此的闪光点而深陷其中，热恋时俩个人相拥相吻，只觉得时间的飞逝。

也许他迷恋我是因为外貌，但我更多是被他的声音吸引了，接着是他的担当征服了我。接着就是磨合期，现在更多是亲情占比高点的爱情了，生活中的柴米油盐酱醋茶考验着我们，无数争吵，让我们一度心灰意冷，和解后，感觉世界又美好了。也许走到现在的确是权衡利弊的结果，在一起一加一大于二，生病的时候有他在，我很安心，下班的时候他煮好饭等我吃的感觉也很好，我们依旧有说不完的话，依旧嫌弃彼此，也许这就是平淡的幸福吧。我不希望我们的爱情败于现实，但还是有很多困难要攻克。加油，一起共勉吧。